We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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