Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
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