that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
