Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize