Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
