Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
