The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
