are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
