going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
