butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
