I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
