paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize