is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize