She tied me up with her honor cords...
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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