going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Randomize