Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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