I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
