wat bout pragnant strippers??
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
