do herpes really smell.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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