Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
