News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
