Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
