Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
