I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
