we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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