dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
