I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
