Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
