She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
Randomize
