go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
