Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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