You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
