? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
ugly people sure do ruin things
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize