I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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