he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
