WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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