We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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