my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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