I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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