wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
