remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
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