White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
