I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
