I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
