I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
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