she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
