I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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