He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
