you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize