We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
