SEEEEXXX PLEASE
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
