I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
