Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
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