Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Sorry about my life...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize