If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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