We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize