So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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