i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
