I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
