Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
You are a genius and a whore.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
