Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
