DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
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