Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize