Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?

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(813): View more from Florida

So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly

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(503): View more from Oregon

I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.

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(773): View more from Illinois

At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?

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(816): View more from Missouri

She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?

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(785): View more from Kansas

I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.

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(443): View more from Maryland

yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism

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(312): View more from Illinois

Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.

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(317): View more from Indiana

They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.

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