hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
it was like eating out sand paper
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just high enough for therapy.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
