So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
