you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
