Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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