By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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