guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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