guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize
