In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
