Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Randomize
