I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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