He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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