my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
